How to: Pull a sickie
Every company has employees that pull sickies. It’s a given. However, it’s the excuses that have really caught our attention. In this online era employees have a wealth of information at their fingertips to dig up a ‘credible excuse’ for not leaving their beds but the excuses certainly don’t come unprepared. Do not underestimate your employees! To keep employers aware of their employee’s antics, we have prepared a list of our favourite internet top tips on how to pull a sickie. As if it isn’t easy enough!
You may feel that some of these steps are a bit far-fetched, but that’s because they are. The internet has become the ‘devil on their shoulder’ and is persuading employees to create all manner of wild excuses. Here are 7 classic behaviors of a serious skiver… they’re only doing what they’re told.
How about this one: “if you’re running late, make yourself wet and say you fell off a bridge”?
1) Create an excuse that is SO unbelievable, people are too baffled to question you.
If your story is strong and has no factual mistakes, people simply cannot prove you otherwise. ‘Liar’ will be the only label you gain if you do this on a regular basis, but you’ve already had your time off, so don’t worry about it.
2) Stick to it
Be imaginative when coming up with an excuse but make sure you don’t let your imagination get the better of you. Stick to your story no matter what and most importantly, don’t fall under pressure: anything is possible, remember that.
3) Sound serious
If your tone of voice remains steady and serious, there will be nothing funny about your excuse. It is unprofessional of your manager to laugh at your plight.
Channel that inner film star and begin your “I’m feeling slightly under the weather, but don’t worry, I’m sure I can carry on for today” act 2 or 3 days before. Or if your excuse is more practically based, try such acts as “My car made the funniest noise this morning…” or “Did anyone else see that? No? Must be my mind playing tricks on me.”
5) Limit yourself
Although the sky is the limit on how much fun you could have in a week off work, you should probably just stick to 2 days. One day off looks too much like a sickie and 3 days off makes you look weak. Illnesses shouldn’t beat you out of earning money.
6) Return with a story
After such an incredible journey over the past two days, your colleagues will expect you to have a story or two. So don’t just return to work and try to stay away from questions – embrace them! Tell everyone how heroic or brave you are!
7) Vary your excuses
If you’re regularly in need of a day off, make sure that you don’t use the same excuse too many times. For example, be careful not to have your grandmother’s funeral more than twice!
If you are a manager who has heard all these excuses before and want to start doing something about them, sign-up to our FREE 30-day trial of Engage.
NB! As an interesting aside we are getting a lot of search traffic for the term “how to pull a sickie”. As we are not actually here to help you skive off work, but rather help your employers ensure that you don’t, we can’t condone the use of any of the above methods. If you do, just remember that your boss/manager/colleagues/co-workers have probably all searched for them as well so will recognise your excuses straight away.